Published in

As For Life: A memoir in poetry exploring the isolation & loss of chronic illness

The Bucket List

with thanks to Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson

My list had been there
eighteen years.
A slip of card stock paper.
Embellished
with my own hand.
Doodles, hearts, flowers.
The first page
in my day planner.
A list of every place
I wanted to go.
Things I hoped to do.

I cleaned house, rampaged
closets. Gave away my suitcase,
satin pumps, rhinestone earrings.
Evening gowns I would no longer
wear, fine china I would never use.

I threw away the list.

Now, five years later, I lie in bed.
Try to reconstruct what was on
that list.

I get as far as: go to the
Grand Canyon; walk the beach
at Assateague; visit my daughters.
Remember no more.

I threw out the list. Just went on.
This strange life. Learning
not to pursue dreams.

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As For Life

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